Three students from the Alpha Beta Zeta Fraternity were admitted into the hospital Sunday morning for alcohol poisoning.
Many have been very concerned with drinking at fraternity parties especially since Press Martin, Al Amalek and Rob Smith were admitted to a hospital and diagnosed with alcohol poisoning. Also, two weeks ago two students died at fraternity parties at LSU and MIT. Two of the students admitted on Sunday have since then been released but one still remains in critical condition.
Interfraternity Council president, Bart Addison says ” I am shocked that this incident occurred. I believed that everyone was adhering to the University’s policy. However, I do not believe that the entire fraternity should be held responsible for the actions of a few. I am going to ask President Smithville to reconsider his suspension of the ABZs.” No further information has been released about the punishment of the students. As a result of this event, university might increase its police controls of fraternity houses on the weekends.
Lead: Pretty good. “admitted to” not “admitted into.” You could still pack a little more info into your lead though — maybe about the frat getting suspended?
2nd graf: Rougher. That MIT and LSU bit feels stuffed in, and doesn’t have a lot to do with the sentences on either side of it. Also, think of your reader and the questions she will have. If she’s friends with Al Amalek, for example, she is going to want to know that HE is the one in critical condition.